


The Pirate and the Seaman

by DilynAliceBlake



Category: Gotham (TV)
Genre: Fantasy elements, M/M, Pirate!Oswald
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-10
Updated: 2020-03-10
Packaged: 2021-03-01 02:01:25
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 8
Words: 1,599
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23097514
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DilynAliceBlake/pseuds/DilynAliceBlake
Summary: To Ed, the navy is just a stepping stone to becoming a pirate and his real goal, meeting Oswald Cobblepot, the notorious captain himself.
Relationships: Oswald Cobblepot/Edward Nygma
Comments: 4
Kudos: 35





	1. Chapter 1

The Penguin, renowned pirate captain of The Iceberg- A ship which no trading vessel could meet without sinking to the oceans watery depths. 

"Room service," Ed announced cheerfully, making his way over to Oswald's cell with the tray. "In a bit if a pickle, huh Mr. Penguin?". He got only a sneer for his troubles.

Perhaps polite small talk wasn't the best way to go about this.

"Oh, I forgot your drink. Alvarez could you go fetch the blue pitcher from the galley while I get Mr. Penguin's meal settled?"

"I'm not supposed to-"

"It'll only take a moment," he insists.

With a roll of his eyes, the leiutenant turns to make his way up the stairs. Ed immediately smashes the metal try he was holding over the back of the guards head.

"Whoopsy," he chuckles, "We don't have a blue pitcher. Must've slipped my mind."

Penguin's eyes were wide, now, startled by the sudden movement and violence.

"Right, now that I have your attention, my name is Edward Nygma, and I would like a chance to join your crew. Also, I stole the keys to your cell."


	2. Chapter 2

Ed tosses them through the bars carelessly, and upon letting himself out Oswald searches Alvarez's pockets and takes his gun. Then he aims it at Ed.

"You have a better chance of surviving your crewmates if they think you're my hostage than if they know you helped me," he says. It isn't an outright refusal, so Ed will take what he can get.

The reason no one came to investigate the noise is abundantly clear when they make their way up to the deck, which is crawling with Penguin's own crew. Jim Gordon has been tied to the mast and has a raw fish shoved into his mouth and tied in place as an admittedly comical gag.

"Not that my stay here hasn't been lovely," Penguin taunts, digging the gun into Ed's neck, "But I'm on a tight schedule. Places to be- You understand, Jim."

By the time Ed, Penguin, and the Crew of Rogues are aboard The Iceberg, Gordon has been untied and is yelling about readying the cannons.


	3. Chapter 3

"Fire!" the Captain shouts, and everyone except for Ed braces for the impact. Ed is grinning at the confusion as they light the cannon and nothing happens.

"I replaced all their gunpowder with flour and kitchen spices when I heard we'd be coming after you," Ed tells Penguin proudly. From the look on the Lawmen's crew's faces, his voice carried. He offers them a cheerful wave.

"Oh, and anyone you can't find at role call was probably poisoned," he calls to Jim cheerfully. "Don't worry. Most of them deserved it. They weren't very nice to me."

"Goodbye, Jim!" Penguin mocks, his victory more absolute than even he could have expected. Ed himself gets escorted to a bunkroom and locked in after being searched. He supposes that's a fair precaution.

Penguin comes to him a few hours later, when the escape from Jim and the Lawmen is cemented.

"Have you thought about my proposition?" Ed asks eagerly.

"I have. You have a history of poisoning those you cook for, and if you were willing to betray them then you'd be willing to betray me. So, no, you cannot be part of my crew. This is goodbye, friend. Thank you for all your help."

"Wait-" Ed tries, but he is pushed soundly overboard and into choppy waters.


	4. Chapter 4

Penguin wakes that night to Ed lurking over him in his cabin, staring eerily.

"It wasn't very nice to push me overboard," he grumbles sullenly. Oswald goes to scramble for a weapon but his wrists have been secured to the headboard.

"How are you in here?"

"I picked the lock."

"The guard?"

"Asleep."

"Oh, convenient, was there a dinner tray involved?"

"No, she was already asleep when I got back on the boat."

"You've been swimming along with the boat," Oswald states flatly.

"Unimportant. I think you should really reconsider my offer-"

"How are you  _ alive _ ?"

"You pushed me into some water," Ed huffs, "It's not like you stabbed me."

"I'll be sure to rectify that this time," Penguin assures saltily, and then "Victor!"

They tie his legs and wrists together, and a bald man by the name of Victor Zsasz leads him at knifepoint down the plank.

"This is really unnecessary," Ed argues, "I'm just trying to-"

He's stabbed in the stomach and pushed overboard again.


	5. Chapter 5

Oswald doesn't see or hear from Edward Nygma again until they dock two days later and he gets back to his quarters to find the man lounging on his bed and prodding at the closing wound.

"That hurt you know," he sulks, and Penguin takes a moment to be offended at the man's gall.

"Why do you think invading my space and stealing into my bed will convince me not to kill you?" he hisses, annoyed.

"It won't, but your bed is quite comfortable, and I needed to lay down to assess the damage. I haven't had a chance, what with keeping up with the boat and then stowing away and staying out of sight."

"If you are alive, then clearly it wasn't damage  _ enough _ ."

"You can't kill me here," Ed says surely, "Too many witnesses to safely get rid of a body. You have to stay on good terms with the cities that will trade with you, or all your pillaged profit isn't worth anything."

"Right," Penguin says, "Let's see how you fare as an icicle."

"What do you-" 

"Victor! And whoever was guarding my rooms, they're fired!"

"He makes a good ice cube," Ivy muses while Butch and Bane heave him up onto the ship's ledge.

"As long as we're long gone by the time he thaws, I couldn't care," Oswald says snippily.

"Chances for survival this far from any land, at the temperature he'll wake at are very slim," Fries assures.

"We'll see," Penguin comments skeptically.


	6. Chapter 6

Oswald wakes to the press of icy feet against his legs, Ed Nygma snuggling stubbornly into his side.

"You know, I could have killed you thrice over by now," he murmurs.

"I am not dealing with you again right now," Oswald grumbles, turning over to go back to sleep.

He wakes to breakfast in bed, and eyes it tiredly until Ed eats some of everything there, glaring at the implication that it's poisoned.

He starts on the meal while Ed complains about the latest attempt on his life as if it were merely an inconvenience.

"You know, I almost couldn't catch up with you. The cold wasn't pleasant either. Was the ice really necessary? What if I'd gotten hypothermia?"

"Who'd you catch a ride with? No one else was slated to head this way. And how do you keep getting past my guards?"

Ed looks shifty at that, changing the subject. "Where did you find an Ice Elemental this far south?"

"None of your concern, Nygma. Now, I believe you know the drill."

Ed sighs heartily and makes his way to the plank. Oswald sees several crew members exchanging coins at the sight of him once more. This time instead of sailing away once Ed hits the water, Oswald watches to wait for him to re-emerge. He has someone on each of the other three sides of the boat as well, all with guns aimed and waiting, but Ed's head fails to pop from the water. After five minutes, he gives the order for them to move on.


	7. Chapter 7

"You know the longest a human can hold their breath is over twenty minutes?"

"Are you  _ fucking kidding me! _ " Oswald screams. "Is your aim to single handedly  _ ruin _ my reputation?"

"That's not what I want at all," Ed argues looking distressed at the very notion, "I told you, I want to be part of your-"

"Edward!" Penguin yells. "Look around! Have you seen a  _ single _ human aboard my ship besides you?"

Understanding dawns.

"The redhead?" he asks.

"Nymph."

"Curly haired kid?"

"Feline shape shifter."

"The one in the silver outfit," Ed tries, seemingly only getting more excited with each answer.

" _ Fire  _ elemental."

"What about you?" he seems ecstatic, fascinated by the motley band of misfits he's alighted upon.

"It doesn't matter. The point is, Edward, that you cannot-"

There's a high pitched trilling sound. Oswald freezes, and Ed shyly lifts his shirt. Past the scar on his stomach, resting along his ribs are fluttering green gills.


	8. Chapter 8

"You're a merman," Oswald says flatly.

"Siren. Half. I was really worried I'd be stabbed in the gills, that second time, but the ropes came off easy enough when I hit the water," Ed assents.

"The navy doesn't take nonhumans. How'd you get past the physical?"

"Same way I got around your guards. I can be very convincing when I want to be."

"Why didn't you just use that on me?" Oswald inquires, because he's seen what a siren can do. Jervis Tetch, on the Valeska's crew, is an asset he could almost envy.

Ed is blushing profusely now, and it occurs to Oswald that Sirens aren't known for letting anyone close who isn't a meal or a mate. Ed's habit of finding his way into Oswald's bed takes on a whole new light.

"I'm not in the market for more subordinates," Oswald decides, and smirks when Ed immediately opens his mouth to argue.

"A partner, however," he continues teasingly, "Well, I suppose after all the trouble you've gone through, I could hear out your case. Provided, of course, you call me Oswald."

"Oswald," Ed breathes reverently, and the happy trilling noise returns as they kiss.


End file.
